120th requested review is of body, mind, soul
Rating out of 10: 3

layout etc. (2: 1)
Talk about cryptic and confusing links, I almost gave up and wrote the author to ask how to navigate the thing. It turns out the word "essence" at the bottom of the page is the link to the archive. The way she has it set up without color you can't even tell that it is a link until you roll the mouse over it. After I figured it out I sat here scratching my head trying to understand the logic of using "body, mind, soul, and essence", while leaving "soul" unlinked. Is this a hidden meaning about the absence of soul?

I have no idea what is going on with the links being asterisks, but what is wrong with actually linking the words?

The layout is completely void of color. I like white space, in fact I love it, but I this thing needs some color desperately.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 0)
When someone begins a sentence with an ellipsis it is very obvious that they are forever trapped within a pause. I do not pause that long before I read a new sentence.

There is more than just the occasional typo on this thing, in fact there are a lot of typos overall and I would suggest she proofread at least once before putting it on her page.

Although I've mentioned this before it merits mentioning again, I despise it when people use their instant message conversations as a means of writing in their journals.

I almost counted the number of times she uses the abbreviation "PDA," but it got too numerous for me. Why she is so obsessed with public affection I have no idea.

Unique: (2: 1)
Not this time.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
"Let's see. Weight loss. I'm not sure how I'm going to eat right after this, because I've been abstaining from almost all food every day this week. Last week, it was a little better, but this week I haven't eaten breakfast or lunch. I eat dinner, though."

When young people are so concerned about their weight that they starve themselves all day I sigh in sadness. She needs a dietician badly. She is so obsessed with her weight that she has a log where she writes down her weight every single day.

"What the hell, I'm just pissed and not making sense. Fuck her, and fuck society. I just wish people would leave me alone. And leave grades alone, and just go jump off a cliff. But I'll think of him, and I'll reminisce the memories."

"Anyway. Um, so we talked about masturbation, sex, and gayness. He's queeeerrrrr hahaha. And he frolicks in the sun! And he's very fun to talk to, when he's talking. Only he's so frukin passive! But that's okay. He will fight for the right and barge in on his dad taking a shower and tell him that we're getting married! hahahaha. Yes.. loveliness. "Just heavenly~" to quote Henry :) Right. And then, Howard called."

A one word sentence consisting of the word, "anyway?"

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
Her main topics are "PDA's", her weight, and school. It did not make for a very interesting read.

Here and there she branches out and writes a poem for an entry which I think is a great form of expression, but I also think poems need their own space separate from the diary entries.

I know it is almost typical, if there were such a thing, of teens to be obsessed with and to write about the same things she does; If you are one of those same types of people, you'd like it. Myself, well I'll venture elsewhere.

posted by Eli Moose on Monday, April 29, 2002

119th requested review is of hug me
Rating out of 10: 2

layout etc. (2: 1)
If I have ever seen a cutsie pootsie diary this is it. From the titile, "hug me," to the green frog that is the main graphic it translates youth. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, but it is really not my style.

The layout is a little different from the run of the mill and that is a good thing, although she is using a design made by someone else and the actual diary is shoved into a small box. Everyone knows that I think that the diary part of a layout needs to be the main part of the page and be given more space.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 0)
I have to admit that the current entry consisting of one complete line only does not bode well.

There are a lot of things she does that have been on my annoying habits list for a while. These include, ellipses galore, and astericks everywhere. I'd almost rather see people using the bold tag more than I would an asterisk.

Unique (2: 1)
I appreciate the time she took to upload pictures of all her cast for the cast page, if one has the pictures to do this it makes a very appealing addition to the diary. Sometimes cast pages are really an extra that gets overlooked because if a person reads the diary everyday they should get to know the cast from the entries alone, adding the pictures is a good reason to have a cast page.

As well she used a guestbook as a question page. Interesting concept, but I think that could be done with email, and I also think that too many people abuse guestbooks as it is. She may be just setting herself up for a lot of deleting of entries.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 0)
"I'm sad. Because I just realized that I'll be turning 20 in August. In less than 5 months, I will be in my twenties...Bye-Bye teenage years. That scares me. So maybe the whole situation above was my subconscious self not wanting to leave teen-life behind"

"Sigh...I've been contaminated by yet another animated tv show...Do you know how long it took me to stop singing the "Happy, happy, joy, joy" song from Ren & Stimpy? What's that? You don't know? Well, that's because I still sing it! And I haven't seen the show in four years! "

"I hate it when people drink loud. It really, really annoys me. To no end. I want to yank that cup right outta your hand and say “NO! No more drink for you! Ever.” It’s not so much the slurping, but more so the loud gulping. The kind of gulping that makes me cringe because it sounds like it is actually causing you pain, as if the hole in your throat just isn’t big enough for all that liquid. Well, if that’s the case, don’t drink so damn much! For the love of Pete, sip! It’s not hard, I promise."

Wake me up when this thing gets interesting.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
No I probably won't be heading back to "hug" her anytime soon. This diary seemed really ordinary, and at times it felt like she was merely writing about things on the surface. What I am interested in is diaries that are written in a more, heart-wrenching, soul-baring style.
posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, April 28, 2002

118th requested review is of Steelsereph
Rating out of 10: 5

layout etc. (2: 1)
That is an interesting picture, but all and all this layout is very plain. It is functional though, and that is what really matters the most.

All the links seem to go where they say they go, and everything is in order. Not much left to say about it except that like I said, it looks plain. All I can suggest is that it be given something to add some zest, it needs something to make it stand apart from all the rest.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
As far as grammar is concerned she does a pretty good job, the only thing I didn't like was the occassional ellipsis and the use of asterisks for emphasis within the entries.

Unique: (2: 1)
I found this in one of her older entries and I like the idea, although I'd rather see something else be the subject of randomness.

Random thought
My spelling sucks. It really does. Not only that, but I type fast, meaning I have many typos. Sorry. I guess.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
"I didn’t think I could hold it together long enough to type it down, record this memory of the kind of insanity most people need to shoot up for. "

That's an interseting thought.

"I need to stop writing. Because, while it's all and good that I'm writing short stories that I'm actually finishing, they're both a.) very bad, and b.) very morbid. So, I will not post the angel/twin suicide one. Because it was both."

"Something is missing, but I know not what, but it's as if the thing key to my completion is right beside me but I cannot turn and am afraid."

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
This is one of those diaries I can say is not bland, but it is also not one that I want to hold my breath while waiting for a new entry. I have to admit that I did find her to be more articulate than a lot of diarists out there.


posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, April 24, 2002

117th requested review is of marieofrumania
Rating out of 10: 2

Layout etc. (2: 1)
There are a few things I could like but don’t. The image of the person taking a picture of the Mona Lisa is blurry and means what, exactly? A picture of a picture being taken. Maybe if it were not so blurred I would get it. Or maybe I am too blurry to get it. The links all work but then how do you return to the home page? You get stuck in a links loop that seems unavoidable. Always have a link that takes the reader home. Oh wait. If you click on the asterisk you go home. Am I the only one who wouldn’t assume this? BTW, the archives are not clearly marked either, unless “#” is supposed to obviously be archives. (However, the links which are within the text of the journal itself open in a separate window which is nice.)

Font is fine. Black on white background but why are the entries flush right? It is distracting to read an entry that isn’t flush left. I know this is silly. Probably it has more to do with conditioning but why make an entry harder to read than necessary?

That said, she at least leaves the quiz results to a different page. Same with the guestbook and all of the other things which detract from the content of the journal. I truly appreciate it that the person who is keeping the journal isn’t cluttering it with things that not everyone would want to see. Lose the little message board on the left and it would look even less cluttered.

The title for the journal is explained in a Dorothy Parker quote.

Annoying Writing Habits: (2: 1)
Capitalization is absent but then so are ellipses. I really don’t know if choosing to have the text flush right or flush left is a layout problem or also an annoying habit. I just wanted to mention it again because I really do find it that annoying. The entries are short and not very deep. I am not exactly taking points for this but the titles annoyed me. More often than not I saw no correlation to the title for the entry and the content for that day’s journal. The titles are seemingly clever for the sake of being clever but if a road is well paved and surrounded with lovely landscaping it doesn’t matter if the road goes nowhere.

Unique: (2: 0)
Not especially. The journal just doesn’t dig deeply enough in what is going on inside for it to be unique in that respect and the style of writing is not remarkably entertaining. For someone who is in the entertainment industry one would think the entries would be more entertaining, amusing, or just candid.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 0)
“i got my prom dress. it's beautiful. lewis and jon have been making fun of me for talking about it so much but quite frankly i need something to make me happy right now. and if a dress can help then by golly i'm going to talk about that dress until i'm damn well finished talking about that dress. ha.”

Maybe there is an earlier entry in which said prom dress is described or a link to a picture is shared or something. I never could find it and a description of the dress would be nice. Even if only the color. Details make writing interesting.

“then i found this poem written by a great granddaughter of hers. that made it really personal. i don't know exactly why i'm writing this, except that it felt the same way”

A perfect opportunity to share the poem you read. If you can’t find, it, perhaps give the reader the author’s name or a title or something.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
Not likely. I love theater people. Some of my best friends are in the theater industry. Having a conversation with them is always interesting because of the backstage stories or the amusing way the story is told. All of this is lacking in this journal. Maybe if I were to meet this person at a party I would have a great time listening to her discuss her life but her entries lack details and depth so I don’t think I will return for another read. There is a lot of room for improvement.
posted by Talulah Lamb on Sunday, April 21, 2002

116th review is of just beneath my skin
Rating out of 10: 4

layout etc. (2: 1)
There’s nothing really wrong with it except that the color red she choose makes my eyes hurt after a few minutes. Maybe it is just the stark contrast of the white against it.

I do like her title, I think it is very clever, but the artwork is not exactly something I would choose myself.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 0)
Auntie Kath? Need I say more? Plus she uses ellipses like they are going out of style as well as other chat-style lingo.

For a while I thought the Friday Five thing was a good idea, but then I started noticing how I don’t read them and skip over those entries. There is something about the way it is set up as question and answer that I just don’t like.

She promotes Heather Corinna like she’s vanilla ice-cream and it’s a hot summer day.

This girl is a clix beggar, and I really do not have respect for that all that much although it really doesn’t change the content of someone’s diary. I can find at least three different links on every page. If you want to use clix as a means of getting traffic, I highly suggest only using one link. Linking at the bottom of each entry is okay with me, but three?

When looking for something interesting to write, I highly suggest not writing a list of 100 things about yourself, unless you will just add that as a link instead of an entry.

Unique (2: 1)
What she writes about her life is quite extraordinary and unusual and for that alone she would attract readers.

Quotes from the diary (2: 1)
“And so this journal has become even more important to me. It's one place in my life where there are no closets, where I don't hold back. And that is important to me.”

“We held each other through nights filled with demons and old ghosts, through days in hospital waiting rooms, through weeks and months of utter poverty and uncertainty. We stayed up until dawn countless times, falling asleep just as the sky turned pale and the candles guttered out, exhausted from hours of laughter and whispers and soft moans and skin lit by flame.”

“We got married back when she was a man, which means someday we'll be a legally married same-sex couple. How cool is that?”

“Yesterday, I was feeling butch to the point of contemplating packing a strap-on under my jeans. Today, I'm running around in a lacy girly shirt and a long silk skirt and lamenting the fact that one of my fingernails has a chip in the polish. From one extreme to another, I suppose.”

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
This woman seems more than a little confused in my opinion. I do not envy her and would not want to be her. I pass no judgment on anyone, but some of the things she talks about in her entries are quite interesting to say the least. She wants to be a woman, and she also wants to be a man, she is married to a woman that still has a penis, and on top of that she wants to be a mother. It reads like a bad episode of Jerry Springer sometimes and I know that there are those of you out there that love that stuff. I mean Jerry Springer does have an audience everyday or it wouldn’t be on television.



posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, April 17, 2002

115th requested review is of Settling
Rating out of 10: 7

layout etc. (2: 1)
I can tell that this girl is trying very hard to be different with her diary, and although I think that is a good thing, there are some things that are tried and true and should not be forgotten. One of those is the idea that keeping something simple is good. This diary has a very clever splash page with a coffee cup sign that says open all night for the link. I thought that was not that bad because it was cute, but then the next page is a mimic almost of the splash page with a poem full of unclearly defined links. I think she needs some alt text pop up boxes if she wants to keep that poem and the links the way they are because as it is you have to look down in the left corner to find out where you are going.

I’ve said this before, but it merits saying again, when you spend so much time designing your web page, why would you want the viewers eyes focused on the bottom left hand corner of the screen and not your beautiful work? The links as they are right now unfortunately are very confusing so I do strongly suggest they be changed in some way. After I looked at all the links, it gets even more confusing. There are so many different archives and whatnot. I know that she wants to provide all the links to all that she has written, but there needs to be a better way that is less confusing. To help all my readers, I finally found the diary under the link marked happy.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
Honesty there were not that many things I was annoyed with, but she does have a habit of writing sentence fragments.

Unique: (2: 1)
I like her style because I know she is giving this website her heart. You can tell when someone puts heart into it.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
“I can't hide from you forever. And you can't run from me forever. Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I'm running, you're hiding. Maybe we're both just lost to each other. But it's probably just insanity in its purest form.”

“And I miss him, damnit. I know, I know. I shouldn't. But I do. And I just want to go back in time and make him not do this. Because now it will never be the same. I could never look him in the eye again if we were to talk. I could never trust him and I could never be his friend.”

“I need you to understand that I'm so much more than my exterior shows. Sure, I'm short, thin, and crazy. But would you know, at first glance, that I went through a period when I hated my body? I wanted to be taller, more developed. I wanted to be better. Better by your standards, not necessarily my own. But now I see that it's going to take more than that for you to like me, and that it's not quite worth the trouble.”

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
I totally would read this diary again. I thoroughly enjoyed my time here. I can feel who she is, her writing style is very open and honest. With a little more work on html she will have a fantastic site.



posted by Eli Moose on Tuesday, April 16, 2002

114th requested review is of Sisterdread
Rating out of 10: 3

layout etc. (2: 1)
First, I do not understand the color choices here. The blue is a tad bit too dark for the black background, and the gray is not light enough either. I don’t really know what to say about that peachy-orange color, except that I wouldn’t use it.

The way the blog is set up works okay for me except parts of it are just too plain, like the archives page for example. I’d really prefer they be accessible from the main page, but if you insist on providing a separate page because they take up too much space, spice it up a little.

The diary has a lot of spacing issues. For instance, why is the first line of the first paragraph and only the first one indented in each entry? In addition, why are some of the paragraphs separated by a double space and some not?

I know this is a bit peevish, but the powered by blogger button is out of proportion on my screen, and my screen is the one that matters to me. In addition, in regards to this, I noticed that the diary was designed for a monitor that has a 1025x768 screen size resolution. I believe this was done because that is the resolution she uses, but I also think it is silly because in doing so she doesn’t realize how bad it looks on other resolutions. I think the most common one is the one I use which is 800x600.

Unique (2: 1)
The questions page is very cool. I have not seen this anywhere before on a diary and I really like it.

Annoying writing habits (2: 0)
Although I find some of the writing interesting, I notice that she doesn’t follow any particular pattern. Sometimes the entry is a joke, or a riddle or possibly has some hidden meaning. I’m not into hidden meanings. I read diaries to find out about the person who writes it. I want dirt and juicy details.

I hate the archives. I want more on one page, or I want a previous and next link. Trust me there is much frustration!

You know, I like capitalization. I think it makes writing flow much better.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
“men experience more difficulty satisfying their sexual needs partly because they need and want sex so often.”

“i like to think we are drawn to people for a reason. maybe our spirits can see each other and they want to talk.”

“He has entrusted me with his pain and insecurities and forgives me when I abuse his trust. I have never been this close to anybody.”

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
As it is, I have to say no. To make her writing more compelling I would suggest she begin to follow more of a time-line style and include more of her personal history. I’d rather not try to guess what the person who is writing the diary is trying to say.

posted by Eli Moose on Monday, April 15, 2002

113th requested review is of frêsh fish
Rating out of 10: 5

Layout etc. (2: 1)
First and immediate response is okay. Simple. Uncluttered. But not very navigable. Your choices are current and then the archives. Again, I would love to see these archives open in a separate window so that you can bounce back and forth more easily. Along the left column you have these titles for further links but until you click on them you are pretty much clueless as to where you are heading. Hint: They are links to favorite entries, poems, etc.

The changes I would make are few. Perhaps more clearly indicate that the favorite posts are just that. Or maybe most memorable. Link the pages so that they open in a separate window. And if there is a reason for the title “fresh fish” I sure couldn’t find it. I looked. I may have overlooked it but I did try to find some reason behind the title.

Annoying Writing Habits: (2: 0)
Occasional misspellings and such I can overlook. Grammatical imprecision as well. But the misuse and absence of capitalization is annoying. It works in small doses of poetry but in prose it just makes the reading of the journal more difficult. I even found a post where commas should have been used instead of periods and the incomplete sentences ruined the flow of the text.

Unique: (2: 1)
Yes. In writing this review I definitely wanted to tread lightly. Such a quirky writing style is refreshing and deserves notice. I hesitate to say what the literary influences are for this journal keeper but I hasten to guess it doesn’t stem too much past the Beat writers. It may not be unique to have poetry and pictures mixed in with journal entries but the writer definitely has a unique voice and the poems and pictures are not so intrusive that they detract from the content.

The voice is definitely unique but not much else is. I would love to see the writer do more with his quirkiness and expand this journal into a whole website of quirkiness.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
“in an angelic sense. within any relationship there is some beauty and
magic. to know this and beckon is a gift. akin to this is the concept that
the superior must make concessions. for without impetus nothing manifests.”

See what I mean about the capitalization and sentence fragments? Lovely abstract thought but it loses its flow because of some lazy writing habits or an attempt at being “creative” that simply ends up creating ambiguity.

“so how come there are no easter lights? yellow and purple would be good to go. and easter would just be a start.”

Actually, seeing as how you can now buy strands of lights in one color seems to me one could pull the bulbs from various strands to create whatever combination you most prefer. Just a though.

“hooks have been around for awhile, but I have always used the stick anywhere adhesive wall hooks. but before long I always encountered the – ‘oh shit! that little sucker pulled the paint and plaster right off the wall.’”

Believe it or not, he does make reading about over the door hooks interesting if you enjoy quirky observations on the obvious, which I apparently do.

“a poeish morning - a persistent but gentle - splish / splash pitter/patter - burr and witch's tits - kind of morning. a pull closer, wish you were here, baby you are the best - kind of time. done without dispatch. a lingering of spirit and soul - and in the background a rumbling - a disturbance of the force - the beating - the beating of a… trinity, trinity, we want a ..spirit, soul, and heart.”

I know we usually only quote three times but I really liked this one and wanted to share it. This is where you wonder if the function of punctuation really matters because there is an artistic flair to this writing.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Sure I would. I have no idea where this journal is heading and I don’t really care. Not a lot of posts so you won’t feel overwhelmed with the sometimes confusing posts. Which, if you ask me, gives you time to digest what you are reading and, perhaps, appreciate it for what it is. Clearly, I am intrigued by this quirky journal and would like to see the writer really dare to be bold and do more with it. Create a website. Let the log be a part of a whole. I know I would visit the site.


posted by Talulah Lamb on Sunday, April 14, 2002

112th requested review is of beautiful midnight
Rating out of 10: 2

Layout etc. (2: 1)
The image is nice but it simply doesn’t work. The white font against the dark background is great until you hit that streak of lightning and you can’t read the text. This is a pretty obvious statement but reading white font against a white background is impossible. Lose the background. Sure it is nice but are you keeping an online journal for it to look nice or be read?

She also reviews journals. There is a link (amongst various others) which connects with her review page. But if you go from her own journal to her review website be ready for a completely different look because her journal has a dark background and her review website is glaringly bright. (I am trying not to critique that site as well, although it is tempting.) Also, The guest book on the right is distracting. Make it a separate link so that people can choose to read it or not.

Some of the links are a bit vague. If you click on “design" you get thrown into a completely different journal written by another person or is this an earlier manifestation of what we are reading now? Doesn’t seem to be the case. I just think that some of the links are poorly named. Profile leads to a long list of other online journals the person likes. I suppose this is something like the Friends page in LiveJournal. Nonetheless, am I the only one who would think “Profile" would link me to information about the person writing? Yes, another link called “me" is immediately below but you can see why these titles are confusing.

The 1 point given is for effort. If you go through the archives you will see that once upon a time the font was painfully small and the links practically illegible. The person knows how to make design changes. Hopefully, more changes will be forthcoming.

Annoying Writing Habits: (2: 0)
I really need to invest in a new MLA Handbook because clearly I missed the memo announcing that capitalization is no longer necessary to make your writing easier to read. Given that so many journals seem to be doing this nowadays, I must be in the minority in finding this annoying.

Grammar is flawed but then the writer is only 16 so maybe with more practice this too will change. At least there are not many spelling errors.

I confess; it is becoming a perverse fascination of mine that people request reviews and then insist on using ellipses in their journals. Presumably they take the time to find the website and have read some of the reviews. They must know that this is a pet peeve in these parts. So why-oh-why would anyone request a review and then abuse ellipses?

Unique: (2: 0)
Not especially. Is it that unique to read a journal from a teenager who talks about music, infatuations, and complains about school and work?

Quotes from the diary: (2: 0)
“so, as of tomorrow at three thirty in the afternoon, i must be completed and handed in three units of physics, three physics projects, three units of math, test corrections in both physics and math, an english essay, a band assignment, french questions, and a bible assignment."

Capitalization and run-on sentence not withstanding, it is nice to know that at 16 she must be completed. Glad I wasn’t dealing with that kind of pressure when I was 16. Proud to say that I am not yet completed and not planning on being so anytime soon.

“and i have to paint my shoes red. actually, i don't have to, i just want to. i'm a freak."

Let it be known that if you paint your shoes red, you are a freak. I thought there were other criteria but I obviously am mistaken.

“i have a new favorite song. it's fated by matthew good band. it's great. i don't have much else to say. except jimmy eat world is on saturday night live and i'm going to watch."

Yippee? At least at the bottom of this entry the writer shares a quote from the song but not really enough to necessarily make someone unfamiliar with MGB to really appreciate. FYI, it is MatthewGoodBand--one word.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
Until I can read the entry without having to face the blind spot against the white lightning probably not, and definitely not until the writer takes the time to use some capitalization. If you expect someone to care enough to read what you write then at least try to write properly. My advice to the writer is start digging. I read a brief allusion to sadness but then nothing about the sadness. A rant about being stressed but nothing about the source of stress is not very enlightening. I figure that anyone who uses “yumalicious" to describe their new haircolor certainly has potential for some interesting writing. It just hasn’t happened yet. Then again, this journal, as is the writer, is young being only a few months old. Maybe a year from now it will be better so maybe, if I remember or someone reminds me, in a year I will go back for a visit and see what, if anything has changed. After all, a lot can happen between 16 and 17.


posted by Talulah Lamb on Saturday, April 13, 2002

111th requested review is of Breakfast of Champions
Total out of 10: 4

layout etc. (2: 1)
My very first thought is: Whoa can we cram anymore on the page? It is way too cluttered looking. I can’t even decide what I need to read first. This is a problem. I really prefer a layout to be well laid out.

What do I suggest? Do we really need to know every minute thing about the author on the left side bar such as everything that falls under the section titled: “Who’s that girl?” I think this might work better if it were on another page as a link or something less in your face. Another thing that could be changed is she could provide a completely separate page for all of her links. I mean I don’t have a problem with people linking to a hundred different websites, but if it gets this full on your diary you might consider giving them their own space. Oh and does she really want everyone that uses ICQ to know her number and if so, why?

Now the color is not that bad, even though I do not usually go for colored text. After seeing all that she had on the site I understand why she opted to not clutter it up more with a lot of graphics, but if I were she I’d consider a small image of some kind after a revamp of everything else is done. The reason I am saying that is because I like the title, its very catchy and a graphic that goes along with it would add to its zest. I also like how her archives are called “leftovers.” That’s very cute.

Annoying writing habits (2: 1)
I prefer diary style journals so the blog-style of simply updating to tell the reader about neat websites is a little annoying to me. Plus I am not sure why she has it set to have a month of entries appear on her main page, but I think she should change that so that there are fewer entries up at one time.

Unique: (2: 1)
I like how she boxes in her quotes, but then again the whole layout is a bit boxed in as well. Still, it is unique and sets the quote apart in a way that I like.

Quotes from the blog (2: 1)
“Last night a New Jersey police officer went on a shooting spree, killing five people. After shooting his five victims he headed over to a nearby county where he "shot Seaside Heights Police Chief James Costello three times at his home."”

“Claiming that safety was her main priority, Britney and her celebrated bosom (clad tastefully in silver sequins) brushed past fans who had stood waiting for upwards of five hours without stopping to sign even a single autograph.”
“I'm not sure what their tagline means, but I know I must purchase a fuzzy bitch-hat from PimpHats.com for BlogCon. Nothing like a cynical drunk Canadian bitch in a furry hat (in August in the desert). You know it, baby!”

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
If I wanted to read a diary I wouldn’t. I don’t consider this a diary. This is truly a blog that hardly contains anything personal in the writing about the author. I read diaries for some juicy details about someone else’s personal life, not what websites they are looking at today and what news they read, although the title does imply that one could simply eat and run.


posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, April 10, 2002

110th requested review is of Sound and Fury.
Total out of 10: 7

Layout etc: (2:2)
The first page of the journal is a calendar with a longish quotation from Macbeth beneath it. A few recommendations: first, I would suggest that there be a link in the current entry on this page, so that the reader doesn't have to look to the calendar to work out what is the most recent entry and click on it from there, especially since the diarist does not write daily. Secondly, I would make the links on the calendar more pronounced, as the days that have entries are almost indistinguishable from those without except for a lighter color and underlining. Perhaps a darker bolder grey or black would make them stand out more. Thirdly, on the actual diary entries there is no navigation except backwards and forwards. I would have liked to have had the calendar on each page so that I could navigate through the entries in a more non-linear fashion; at the least, a link to the archives page would be helpful.

The design is a stylish grey and white with few distracting graphics or scripts. The site navigation, apart from the above comments on the diary entries, is easy and consistent between pages on the site. The site contains a wealth of material for the reader, including a book of quotes, a biographical essay, a portfolio of web designs, photos, song lists, commentary on her romantic life and creative writing, all on top of the journal itself. One could easily spend hours exploring what this site has to offer.

The entries are quite often ruminations on some aspect of her past or her relationship. These are (for the most part) interesting and well written, however often there is a feeling like the diary is written purely for herself and that we are denied certain details. Too many times I came across apologies for things that are never explained, although obviously they are important to her and the person she writes to. Some might say that that is the purpose of a diary, a private and personal record. But an online is no longer private and if it is excessively personal to the point where the reader is confused or feels left out, then perhaps publishing it on the web and inviting the world at large to read is not appropriate. If you are going to write intimate letters to a special purpose and then put it on the web, at least preface it with a title or an explanation or a "Dear Michael..." so at least we know what is going on.

Annoying writing habits: (2:1)
There is a time in a teenager's life when they suddenly think that they are profound, that they have access to universal truths and that their thoughts are original and important. This is the time of expanded vocabulary and bad poetry -- tortured metaphors, forced allusions, ten words where three would do. It is said that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. This is because once someone gets, say, a bit of Shakespeare or Sartre under their belt they begin to think of themselves as poets or artists or intellectuals. It is a necessary rite of passage in the development. Any established writer (novelist, poet, journalist or whatever) will tell you about how they look back and cringe with embarrassment at their juvenilia. I will acknowledge that this girl has the occasional insight, the occasional well turned phrase, but unfortunately most of the time it comes across as laboured and self-conscious; if I were in an unkind mood, I would say pretentious. There is a place for casualness in writing, especially in a journal. Hopefully this is merely a stepping-stone in her maturity as a prose stylist.

Unique: (2:2)
I am going to give this site full marks on this one because it is rare to find a diary that is intelligent and articulate, visually pleasing, navigationally uncomplicated, and filled with good quality content.

Quotes from the diary: (2:1)
"My writing was exquisitely horrid -- grammar mistakes, exclamation marks and blatant wordiness embellished my terrific hormonal and emotional reaction to everything. I stared in disbelief at my writings, unwilling and unable to face my former self. But to put it into perspective, I was only twelve years old. As a child, I liked to think that I knew everything. I was innocent, flighty and arrogant -- and it showed in my early writing."
And hopefully this, too, is a another step in that process of maturation.

"Wandering through a street downtown, skyscrapers chasing my footsteps, I watch people pass by. They avoid eye contact with the street beggars. The anguished cries of the impoverished go unnoticed as the masses walk on, like a vortex of droning work bees, blissfully oblivious."
To me, this sounds like she is trying too hard to sound literary. There is an unnaturalness about it that is off-putting.

Would I go back for another read? (2:1)
The writer is obviously an intelligent and articulate young woman with much to offer a reader who is willing to wade through the dense prose. I will return from time to time in the hope of a more honest and casual entry where I am given a true glimpse of her life and where I don't feel like she is either trying to impress me or feel superior to me.


posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, April 07, 2002

109th requested review is of Radiator Lady
Total out of 10: 8

layout etc. (2: 1)
Please make a note of the fact that your centered table in the middle of the layout is too small and should be enlarged in order to give your text the amount of space and attention it deserves. This is a diary right?

The color scheme is not bad; I can live with teal, black and white, but that picture is something that needs to go. So you are the lady in the radiator? Are you just trying to scare your readers or you actually thought that name was a cute idea?

I found the meaning of the title in her first entry. Yet I am still confused as to why she thought this was a great name for a diary.

A brief explanation about the title of this journal - In David Lynch's brilliantly weird film, "Eraserhead", there exists a lady in the radiator. She is sweet, loving and deformed. And... once again... she lives in the main character's radiator. He watches her when the reality of his life has gotten too much to bear (hell, the man has a newborn mutant son that must be seen to be believed) and she brings him comfort and happiness. I think we all want to live in the radiator at times and be saved by the radiator lady.

I have to suggest a theme change is in order.

Also, as far as color goes I am quite confused as to why the colors on your guestbook do not match your diary at all. That should be fixed right away.

As far as navigation is concerned the page works fine. There are a few things I do not understand though, like for instance, why are the previous, next, and old entry links listed at the top of the archives when they are not needed there? A simple deletion is needed to alter that.

A lot of the older entries do not match the format of the newer ones. I understand when you change the design of the page you can’t always change everything along with it, but in a perfect world we would all have enough time to reformat. I will not take off points for this though.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 2)
Except for the occasional ellipsis, I have to say I was not that annoyed.

Unique: (2: 1)
I like her style of writing, but I really like her writing project entries.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
“Fuck. I can't do this. I'm so scattered. I thought I could write about this coherently, but I can't. Not yet. I thought it would be cathartic to write about Bob and what he meant to me, and to every single person who knew him.

“Yesterday, I was reading Catch-22 while you held me.”

I was sitting sideways in your lap, my legs thrown over the overstuffed armrest of the large mustard-colored chair you deemed the best thing in the house, as thoroughly into my reading as you were into me.”

“My first double bed, with a white and pink comforter... a teenager's bed. A teenager with her own phone line, an interest in boys, and Barbies hidden in the closet because I have not yet been able to give them up. I dream my own dreams from this bed. I dream of fitting in, of boys wanting "to go" with me, of the worlds in the books I love to read. It is the 80s and I dream of being Madonna and loving Morten Harket from A-Ha forever.”

Oh my God! I had a pink and white comforter!

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Apart from not really understanding the title, and thinking the picture is scary as hell I still have to say yes. I really liked the way she writes. She is very good at communicating what she is feeling and thinking. This was a great diary.

posted by Eli Moose on Tuesday, April 02, 2002

Guess what kiddies, I now have an Amazon wish list set up so that if you love me or simply just want to make my day you can send me things! I have only begun to put things on the list, but I'm sure as time goes on I will add more.
posted by Eli Moose on Monday, April 01, 2002

108th requested review is of My Darkest Secrets
Rating out of 10: 3

layout etc. (2: 2)
There are things about this layout that are gorgeous. The first thing I noticed and loved was the pictures across the top. They look great and work really well. I am impressed with the way the scroll down menu works and looks at the bottom of the graphic as well.

I am a little confused as to why the picture of the eye is always there. Is it there for effect, and what effect is it there for exactly? I kept thinking it was going to disappear or that it was a link to something, but as far as I can see it serves no real purpose.

I do not really like password protected entries, but since I was given a login beforehand I am going to give him a break on this one. The reason I don’t like them is because it defeats the purpose for me. I want to be able to read without having to go through the bother to ask permission. Even though I have a login provided for me, I still can’t click on the light blue entries directly from the archives. For some reason I can’t even access them by going to the previous one and hitting next. Oh, the frustration!

I understand the title “My darkest secrets,” but I do not understand the title, “Our moments together.” As far as I know, I have no moments with the author. I know what he means by the "our" after looking at the pictures, but the title is not clear and titles should be especially if they are links.

Annoying writing habits (2: 0)
Why do diarists hate to capitalize so much? I love capitalization. You may find it easier to type without using your little shift button to capitalize, but I find it annoying as hell to read what you have typed. Go to typing 101 and learn the correct way to finger that keyboard.

Why is every sentence interrupted with an ellipsis? There is no breaking up of sentences with caps, and the ellipses are artificial and incorrect and in the wrong spots he uses ellipses where commas or dashes should be used. So while you are at typing 101, go on over to Commas 102 and learn that ellipses are not the only way to break up your sentences.

Unique: (2: 1)
The separation of jokes from the journal is really unique. It is such a great idea, much better than throwing them in along with all the other entries like so many other people do. Bravo.

Oh and his titles are quite interesting. Along the way I stopped and wondered about “pissed myself,” and “yummy panties.” At least if the writing doesn’t work for you the titles will.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 0)
“i fucking need a bro now. my boobie actually hurt while running down the stairs this morning. jiggling. i jiggle. fucking a. i'm going to lose some fucking weight damnit.”

“i walk over there...she insists she's fine...oh well, i tried to ask her...i mean i KNOW what's wrong, it's just fucked up that she's upset about it. i mean, she was getting hit on by guys left and right...the big beefy security guard who she's friends with kept buying her drinks...and i didn't care. oh well...live and learn. maybe i'll go with palani next time.”

“speaking of my friends...it has become weirder and weirder between mary and i. i don't understand it. i've tried to be honest and open with her..and...friendly. it's not like i talk about ashley's and mine private...um...adventures...but i do like mentioning certain things. i stil keep far more of a lid on it than i do with others. and every time i mention her, mary just gets this...dark look on her face. when i ask what's wrong, i get the typical mary response..."nothing, eugene". ugh...you'd think she'd be honest with me now.”

These are long sometimes because I just didn’t know where to end the quotes.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
To be quite honest I was so frustrated by the style of writing that I couldn’t get beyond it in order to read much of the journal. I did check out the jokes and found some of them funny. If he were to take my advice and check out how he can write in a way that is much easier for the reader I may come back in the future, but I seriously doubt it will be any time soon.

His diary is the epitome of stype over substance -- great layout, neat designs, cool coding, but the actual writing sucks. It is a fast food diary -- looks good, tastes good, not very filling.


posted by Eli Moose on Monday, April 01, 2002